Tag: fathers-day

  • Truth Be Told…

    Father’s Day has always been a difficult day for me.

    I lost my father in 1985… and the man who stepped in and helped raise me only three years later.

    So when I see little boys & young men sitting beside their fathers in church, I notice.

    When I see men my age spending Father’s Day with their dads, I notice.

    When I see fathers and sons fishing together, working together, or simply sharing life together, I notice.

    And if I’m being honest, there have been times when Father’s Day brought more sadness than celebration.

    But Saturday, I spent several hours with my son, now 18.

    We talked about everything and nothing.

    Life. Family. Work. Memories. The future.

    As I drove home, a line from an old song kept replaying in my mind:

    “It may have a new perspective, on a different day.”

    Maybe that’s what growing older does.

    It doesn’t erase the losses.

    It doesn’t give back the years.

    But it helps you see the story differently.

    Yesterday, I found myself looking at three photographs.

    My father.

    The man who helped raise me.

    And my son.

    For the first time, I wasn’t focused on what had been lost.

    I was focused on what had been passed down.

    The legacy of two very different men lives on in me.

    And part of their legacy—combined with mine—lives on in my son.

    Father’s Day still carries a measure of sadness.

    I suspect it always will.

    But today, it carries gratitude too.

    And that’s a different perspective than I had on another day.

  • Different Perspective on a Different Day

    Different Perspective on a Different Day

    Yesterday, I listened to a song I’ve heard for decades. Or so I thought.

    Like most people, I knew the chorus. What I didn’t know very well were the verses.

    As I listened, one line stopped me in my tracks:

    “It may have a new perspective, on a different day.”

    The older I get, the more I realize that some of life’s deepest truths are hidden in those few words…

    Father’s Day always brings two men to mind.

    My Daddy, Raymond James, gave me life and made sacrifices and decisions for his children that no parent should ever have to make. The older I get, the more I appreciate the weight he carried and the decisions he was forced to make. I am grateful for him every day.

    The second was Dad, my Uncle Stanford Gaylor.

    What was supposed to be a temporary arrangement became a lifetime commitment. When my sister and I had nowhere else to go, he opened his home, his heart, and his wallet without hesitation.

    He taught me lessons that have stayed with me for more than fifty years.

    He taught me that gentleness is not weakness.

    He taught me that a man’s strength is measured more by how often he kneels before God than how loudly he stands before men.

    He taught me that hard work matters, even when nobody notices.

    He taught me that you never turn away someone in need because one day you may need the same grace yourself.

    He taught me to slow down and see God’s handiwork in nature, and that fishing was never really about the fish.

    As I reflect on Father’s Day, I also find myself thinking about my own journey as a father.

    Like most fathers, I have moments I treasure and moments I wish I could do over. There were seasons when distance, circumstances, and some of my own decisions created challenges in my relationship with my son. Looking back, there are things I see more clearly now than I did then.

    But yesterday I spent several hours with Tommy. We talked about everything and nothing. Life, work, family, memories, and a hundred other subjects. As I listened to him, I realized once again how grateful I am to be his father.

    Fatherhood has taught me that we don’t have to be perfect to love deeply. We don’t have to get everything right to keep showing up. And sometimes God’s grace is found not only in raising children, but in the opportunity to keep growing alongside them.

    Neither man who raised me was perfect. And neither am I.

    But both left fingerprints on the man I became, and I pray that I have left some good fingerprints on the man my son is becoming.

    Today, I thank God for all of it.

    Happy Father’s Day, Daddy and Dad. I love you, and I look forward to seeing you again someday.